Have you ever wanted to quit a race? I mean really quit? Raise your hand and let yourself be pulled out by the friendly kayakers waiting between the buoys? Well I did.
I started my sprint tri this Sunday at beautiful White Lake, NC and standing there with the 16-34 age groupers all in our purple caps, goggles, and wetsuits, ready and waiting for the air horn to blow! I was so excited, here I was, going to get over my fear in this calm lake and with a sandy bottom and a mere 11foot depth in the deepest section. I glanced over the orange buoys, not mocking me, but inviting me! They even had their yards written on them as if to say, "C'mon, it's so easy, you do this in the pool all the time!". Finally, 17 minutes after the first groups horn blew, ours sounded! Loudly! I had a strategy, I was at the front this time, I was GOING to push through, I've trained for this all winter and I'm faster and stronger in the water than I was last year, plus it was wet suit legal! And I've never gotten a chance to race in a wetsuit before! Pulled my tags off that morning!
So there I was, kicking, paddling, pushing and breathing my way through 100+ girls, all with the same goal...reach the first 100yard buoy. I did, too fast. Then it happened, I was gasping for air! Clawing at the wetsuit that was now choking me, cutting away my air and my chance at victory over this lake. I glanced to my right and there was a girl on her back with her hand raised and shaking it beckoning the kayaks to come rescue her from the water. I went to a very dark place. A place in my mind that said, "go on...join her...then you can breathe". Then I heard my husband's voice from inside my head, "If you quit you will hate yourself. Do what you can to finish, just get through it. The bike is next and it's your saving grace. All you have to do is finish the swim." So I compromised I aimed for the 200 yard buoy...on my back. I started back stroking, something I've never done before, but the only way I could breathe. I then sited the turn buoy and stayed on my back, I was getting calmer so I flipped to my stomach and tried to crawl, the wetsuit was still choking me and now the sandy bottom was gone and this lake was just as murky as the rest of them. I ran into the turn buoy and pushed around it...almost to the 500 yard bouy...I'm breathing but not well, I'm still on my back, but I'm now feeling the constricting more, I started to wonder if I could pull of the wetsuit, no, probably not, I can barely get it off on land. I yank at the zipper and now it's half way unzipped and I can no longer back stroke....600 yard buoy. I'm crawling, almost there, just going slow now, but then this mega dude from the pod of clydesdales behind us runs up on my and throws me off again, but I can see the big "FINISH" sign at the dock, I get my panic under control, and the next 100 yards were pure survival. I get to the ladder and the stupid bi@*h tells me to go to the next ladder down (she could have died for that). I get out shaking and trying not to puke... but I got out!!! I swam 750 yards...100 yards at a time.
So I guess you could say I panicked. Well it is what it is. I still got out, finished the race and can face myself in the mirror. I did a terrible job on that race, but it was the first race of the season. I'm hoping to get over the fear of the lake and maybe, just maybe, learn how to pace myself at the beginning of a darn swim!!
I'm not pleased with how I did. I had a goal to finish in 1:30, but I did 1:39. I'm pretty sad about that, but hey, I FINISHED!!
I have done 14 triathlons, and I will tell you, I am have a losing record with OWS swims. I panic too, I have paniced in over 50% of my races. I understand what you went through, it sucks, you feel hopeless and vulernable. Its scary. Not only are you in survival mode, it messes with the rest of the race in your head, its rarely you can recover mentally from that on the bike and run. You could have had a great bike and great run, but all you will remember and think of is that swim, more then likely during the whole bike and run.
ReplyDeleteSo what can we do, first thing we need to do is practice OWS at least once a week, the more your in the open water, the more you will feel better in it
The second thing, that I do, that not enough people do is practice in the pool, what I call "In Case of Emergency" swimming, or a different stroke. I practice breast stroking in the pool and some back stroke, for the sole purpose of having it avaiable to me for this exact reason. I do at least one set of it, every time I am in the pool. It helps knowing I can rely on something else besides freestyle when I panic.
I feel you on this one.
You're right, it's all I remember about this race. I never pulled all out on the bike and figured I was toast already on the run, so I ran it slow. I probably COULD have done better in the other events, but the swim sunk me!
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